Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
