He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
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I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
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I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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