Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
