OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
