So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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