dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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