is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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