i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
