my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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