He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
