Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
