the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Small penises have feelings too.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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