You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
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i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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