they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
