evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize