I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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