i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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