this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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