My Higher Power is John Stamos
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
