I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
