It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
