She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
