What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
