He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
