Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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