Soap is not a condiment
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
