I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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