Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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