This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
