We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
