mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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