batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
