I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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