'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize