Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
