I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
