last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
