Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize