So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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