I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
