So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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