That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
