i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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