I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
