Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
