I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
