DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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