Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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