I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
