I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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