So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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