I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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