Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize