this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...