She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week