i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This house was built for laser tag.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?