I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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