it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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