she peed on how many people?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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