I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize