At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
