we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
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still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
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My penis needs a shock collar
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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