Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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