i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
