so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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