pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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