Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
