Your tits are I can't wait for
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
