Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Found the puke drawer
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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