I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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